When a Little Brother or Sister Arrives

The belly is growing, and soon you'll be a family of four. Your child at daycare doesn't yet know that their world is about to change. How do you prepare a small child for something as big as a little brother or sister?

When to Tell Them

Small children have no sense of time. Nine months feels like an eternity, and the concept of "baby" is abstract. Therefore, it rarely makes sense to tell them too early.

Many parents wait until the pregnancy is clearly visible, or until there are only a couple of months left. That way, the waiting time becomes more manageable for the child, and they can more easily connect your growing belly with the idea of a baby.

How Do You Tell Them?

Keep it simple and concrete. Use words your child understands and avoid too many details. "There's a baby growing in mom's tummy. Soon it will come out, and then you'll be a big brother/big sister."

Picture books about getting siblings can be helpful. They give the child images of what will happen, and you can talk about it together. Return to the books several times – repetition helps understanding.

Preparation in Everyday Life

Let your child participate in the preparations. They can help choose clothes for the baby, set up the baby's room, or look at old pictures of themselves as a baby. It gives them a role and a feeling of being important.

Talk about what babies do – and don't do. They sleep a lot, they cry, they can't play yet. Realistic expectations prevent disappointment when the little brother or sister turns out to be less exciting than expected.

The Daycare's Role

Tell the daycare staff that you're expecting. They can support your child through the process and be attentive to any reactions. Daycare can also be a free space where everything is as usual.

Many daycares have experience with children getting siblings. They can help put words to feelings and include the theme in play and conversation if it feels natural.

When the Baby Arrives

The first days after birth are intense. Your child may react in many ways – with excitement, with jealousy, with indifference, or with everything at once. All reactions are normal.

Prioritize time alone with your big child. Even short moments of undivided attention can make a big difference. Let them feel that they're still important, even though there's now a baby in the house.

Jealousy Is Completely Normal

Almost all children experience jealousy when a sibling arrives. It's a natural reaction to having to share their parents' attention. Expect it, accept it, and let the child feel that the feeling is okay.

Avoid saying "you should be happy about your little brother/sister." That dismisses the child's feelings. Instead say: "It can be hard to share mom and dad. It's okay to feel that way."

Regression Can Occur

Some children show regression when a baby arrives – they suddenly want diapers again, they speak baby talk, they want to breastfeed or have a bottle. It's an expression of processing the change.

Meet it with calm and understanding. The regression will pass on its own. Don't let your child feel shame about it, but acknowledge that changes can be difficult – even for small people.

Daycare as a Stable Point

In a time of big changes at home, daycare can be an oasis of stability. Here everything is as usual. The same adults, the same routines, the same friends.

It can actually be good for your child to go to daycare in the period around the birth. It gives them a place where they're still the center, and where they can be "just themselves" without a baby demanding attention.

The Relationship Between Siblings

At first, your big child may not be very interested in the baby. That typically changes as the baby becomes more interactive. The first smiles, the first sounds – suddenly the little sister or brother becomes exciting.

Encourage the positive moments without pushing. Let your big child show the baby things, sing to them, or help with diaper changes. Praise their helpfulness and their role as big brother or big sister.

It Takes Time

Becoming a family with two children is a process. It takes time to find new routines, to distribute attention fairly, and to let everyone settle into new roles.

Be patient with yourself, with your big child, and with the situation. There will be difficult days, but there will also be moments of deep joy – when you see your two children together and know that they have each other for the rest of their lives.