When Presence and Security Help Little Ones Bloom

Meet Henriette Hallum, who has spent 10 years as a pædagog – a trained early childhood educator – in a vuggestue (a Danish daycare for children under three). There she has worked with what she loves most: building safe relationships, meeting little children with presence and giving them the courage to grow.

What Made You Become a Pædagog?

I've always found it easy to catch children's attention. Ever since I was little myself, children have looked for my eyes and enjoyed it when I was a bit silly and entertaining. At the same time, it has always felt natural for me to be caring, to read other people and sense what they need.

What's the Best Thing About Working With Daycare Children?

I really love the closeness and calm that daycare children get so much joy from. It comes naturally to me, so it's not something I have to spend an extraordinary amount of energy on.

When I walk into the room in the morning, I'm met by little eyes and gentle smiles from children who, at the most basic level, simply need my presence – for me to meet them at eye level and give them a good-morning hug.

What Do You Wish More Parents Knew About Their Child's Day at Daycare?

How much their child is actually capable of.

When we show children trust and let them know "you can do it", while guiding them in a loving and concrete way, we give them the courage to try for themselves. That goes both for becoming more independent and for putting words to what they feel inside.

When children are met with trust, support and the belief that they can, they get the chance to grow and bloom. And of course that isn't only true for children, but for people in general.

How Do You Build Good, Safe Relationships With the Children at Your Daycare?

We put a lot of focus on calm and presence in everyday life. Right from the start, it's important to us that the children feel our eye contact, our attention and that we're really there with them.

We're here to look after them, and they should be able to feel that. They need to experience that they can count on us, and that we have the time and energy to see them, listen to them and recognise their needs.

In my experience, over time this creates children who are more at ease in themselves and who trust that they can always come to us and be met with understanding, care and room for whatever feelings they bring.

What Matters in the Partnership Between Parents and Daycare Staff?

That we dare to meet each other with honesty and openness, and that we respect each other's perspectives. As pædagoger, we bring our professional eye, while parents naturally bring their feelings, experiences and worries.

Trust in both directions is absolutely essential. It creates a safe foundation where we can talk openly and honestly with each other – also when something is hard. That way, we can find the best solutions for the child together.

If You Could Give One Piece of Advice to Parents With a Little One in Daycare, What Would It Be?

When you as a parent find more calm in your own feelings – perhaps with support and good conversations with the staff – your child will often be able to feel that calm too.

When you start to feel more secure yourself, it becomes easier for your child to sense and believe that daycare is a safe place to be.

Of course, that doesn't mean you're not allowed to be worried or moved as a parent. That's completely natural. But when we dare to talk openly about the worries and make room for the feelings that come with them, it often becomes easier for both you and your child to find calm and security in your new everyday life.

Is There Anything Else You'd Like to Share as a Daycare Pædagog – a Special Story, a Memory or an Experience You Still Remember?

I have a little story that will always have a special place in my heart.

A family came to us after a really difficult start at another daycare, where their trust had been broken. Both the child and the parents now had to try to find their sense of security again and build new trust in daycare life, which they had had a very hard experience with before.

"I knew it would be a meaningful task for me and my pædagog heart. At the same time, I knew the most important tools were already right there: presence, calm and time."

Because that's often exactly what we humans need when we have to dare to open up again.

We need people who stay with us – also when the worries and the difficult feelings take up a lot of space. When there's room for the feelings, and they're met with understanding and care, they can slowly settle. That way, there's room again to build belief and trust in each other.

After a fairly short time, the child began to show great trust in us and in their new life at daycare. So did the parents.

I felt that I had helped give the family some of their trust back, and I got to follow their child's development and see them bloom and thrive. It made me truly happy.

For me, the story shows very clearly how much mutual trust and a shared will to work well together between parents and pædagoger can mean.